Birthdays

Birthday's are always a good time for reflection.

How far have I come? What have I really achieved? What do I want to achieve? Is this really where I thought my life was heading?

Also, as much as I hate to admit it, it's also a time to sit back and reflect on the people you have around you. I know how this is going to sound as soon as I explain it, but hear me out.

I spend a lot of time and effort throughout the year trying to make sure my closest friends feel loved and special, particularly on their birthdays. Sometimes this involves a reasonable amount of money, sometimes it's time and effort. Often it's both.

When it comes around to me though, it feels like I am lucky to get a hug and sometimes it's an sms or fb message.

Not exactly what I would say are stellar returns.

The question then becomes... is it me? or are they insensitive, selfish, self centred and lazy? Do I expect too much?

Then comes the question "What do I expect?"

Well, honestly, I'd like to feel like you give a shit. Really. Not just sent a message because fb reminded you to.

Don't get me wrong, it certainly hasn't been everyone. But some people have really surprised me because I wasn't expecting it and others have left me somewhat hurt because I thought, out of those really close to me, they would have made some kind of an effort, and they havn't.

And no, it's not about the presents... it's about the presence...